Shyness and Social Anxiety in Children

Children nowadays are under a lot of societalapparent shyness or social anxiety, it is important to
pressures.  A shy or socially anxious child has nosupport the child without looking overly concerned;
place on the playground. Children, as young asmore worry on the child's part will be
kindergarten, are expected to be super achievers incounterproductive.  The child needs to feel that you
school, sports, be popular and also have manyare concerned about their happiness and not that they
friends.  These ideals are becoming increasinglybecome popular or seek social perfection.  Also, let
difficult to achieve in part due to popular media, and thethem know that you love them for who they are, not
demand for perfections it places on kids.  In a child'sfor what you want them to be. Children in general are
world, shyness translates to geekiness andvery sensitive. Shy children tend to be even more
awkwardness.sensitive. Shy children can peek up on the parent's
Many parents take their child's social anxiety quiteunconscious need for perfection. Unfortunately, when
personally.  They are afraid that shyness maybe athat is the case, these kids suffer even more social
consequence to their authoritative parenting practices,anxiety. They may even become more shy and
or excessive discipline, for example.  While it is truewithdrawn.  Let your kids know that you are willing to
that excessive demands of perfection might make ahelp them overcome shyness and social anxiety if that
child less assertive, there has been no convincingis what THEY want for themselves.
evidence to back up that theory. In fact, quite theAfter all, your main goal as parents is to ensure your
opposite is true. Many researchers, for instancechildren's happiness. But it is important that you realize
prominent researcher Jerome Kagan, establishedthat some characters maybe innate, and may not
evidence that shyness may indeed be genetic!entirely amenable to change and alteration. This is not
Whether this ends the nature versus nurture debate into say that social anxiety is to be embraced. 
the etiology of social anxiety or not is not the issue.Offering help to overcome social anxiety is important;
The fact is: parents do need to nurture their children'sjust remember to listen to your child's needs and take
budding concept of self, and help them develop healthytheir cues. If your help is solicited, then by all means
self-appreciation and self-esteem; but it is not known ifinterfere. Otherwise, don't let the world revolve around
these measures guarantee that the child will grow upyour child's shyness or lack of social skills. When they
to be an outgoing extrovert.are ready to change, they will approach you with open
If you are a parent concerned about your child'shearts.